A man. Not a boy who thinks he can.

My recent stints with dating have brought me an abundance of knowledge. From this experience, I have learned a handful of lessons, and a few deal-breakers, that I will absolutely implement on future relationships. It has never ceased to amaze me how quickly love can breed hate. I once wrote, "the loss of love is so strange to me. Picking people from your life is such a horrible outcome of the heart's defeat." I suppose it is much easier to be mad, than it is to feel the weakness and vulnerability of hurt. I don't know if it is betrayal, in all of its colorful forms (not just cheating, or lying, but the betrayal of character) or just the loss of love all together. Or lust. Or maybe love was never present to begin with. Who knows, I certainly don't. What I do know, is no amount of love can discount incompatible quirks and character flaws.



Here is my want AD for Dream Man:

*First and foremost, before anything else, any man I select to share my company with MUST get along with Gabel. There are absolutely no exceptions. Oh, and Berkley too.
*I like a smart, funny man. If he can't hold his end of a conversation, we probably won't have a whole lot to talk about.
*Please make me laugh. It isn't hard. I giggle at everything. I just ask that dream man has some sense of humor.
*I need a partner with ambition; I need someone that is continually trying to be his best self in addition to furthering his career/hobby/passion at every opportunity. I would like to take over the writing world, and it would be awesome to find someone with a similar drive.
*I need support. I can offer relentless love, support, and encouragement and I need a counterpart that can reciprocate. I think that lovers should feed and grow from one another, and that is easily done through mutual respect and of course, support.
*Getting along with my friends is crucial. I have an awesome group of people I love, and care about, and their opinion carries a lot of weight with me.
*It would be nice to find someone that can handle logistics. I am a creative; I'm an idea girl and I often float away into the clouds. I need someone to grab me by the shoestring and keep me grounded, when necessary.
*I need someone that isn't intimidated by a successful woman. I need someone that isn't threatened by any success I may have; maybe he should use my success as a platform to push him toward his own goals. A little competition is harmless ;) 
*I think that separate togetherness is an important part of any relationship. I want a guy that takes time out to spend with his dudes. Likewise, I love traveling to see my girlfriends. Insecurity and mistrust have no wiggle room here.
*Quirks are a plus. I am an oddball; I am somewhat bizarre and completely erratic. I like someone that can jive with my ADHD ;)
*KIA's (also referred to as: Know It All's) are a very intolerable pet peeve of mine. If I am wrong about something, please correct me. I take criticism very well (at least I think so). What I don't care for, is a person's inability to accept their own misgivings. It is just plain rude.
*On that note, I also won't tolerate a man that refuses to take responsibility for his actions. If you hurt my feelings, just apologize and try not to do it again. Don't throw nonsense in my face simply because I express a concern. That is so childish, and mean.
*Apples are apples. Don't create a mountain out of a mole hill. IE don't turn a small disagreement into an outlandish World War Three power struggle. It is normal to fight, say "fuck you", find a solution, and move on. Right?
*I will probably need a fellow pet lover. I have big plans to build a dog farm, and I am always trying to bring home a new rescue. It would be best if my spouse also had an affinity for the furry children :)
*My dream man must also like the outdoors.
*Dream man: please come find me in five years. I will likely still be in Austin. Look me up ;)



As I read over this "list", I am convinced that I - like many other women - have just described the mythical man-unicorn. Does this exist? I sure as hell hope so!



The older I get (and I suppose 26 is not THAT old), the more unyielding to change I become. I am not completely set in my ways, but I don't have a whole lot of patience for the undesirable tendencies of others. I think I have been burned a few times, and as a result I lost a lot of my "give-a-damn". I said once that, "relationships are NOT 'about' compromise. Compromise is only one component that makes a relationship work. Relationships are about mutual respect and an unshakable desire to not only be with someone, but to be a part of them." I stand by that.