Day Three: I hate all of you.

5am came really early today. I am pretty well adapted to this insane workout regime I implemented on myself, but today was just terrible.

Going into this cleanse, I knew that day three was going to be wretched. This is the day that your body starts detoxing all of the nasty crap you have been feeding it - caffeine, alcohol, hot dogs, BARBEQUE, of all things. I am pretty picky about what I eat, but let's be real. Sometimes you just need a damn hot dog with grilled onions, relish, sour kraut, fresh onions, and jalapenos... (Have I ever mentioned how much I LOVE hot dogs??) Where is the Hot Dog King right now?!?! I have a funny story about that guy, but I will share that one later.

This morning was rough. I stumbled out of bed and begrudgingly drove myself to the gym. I map my workout routine the night before and save it to my iPhone (it minimizes my mindless wandering around the machines) and I completed every single set of leg exercises. I felt like death through the entire process. I felt nauseous. I felt tired. I felt cranky. I felt like sleeping on the ab bench sounded much more gratifying than sit-ups on the ab bench. When Stephen asked me, "how are you feeling?" This is what I told him:

How am I feeling? How am I FEELING? Let me tell you how I'm fucking feeling. I feel like shit. I'm tired. I'm hungry. I'm sweaty. I smell like ass. And I'm pissed off at that stupid girl and her pony tail - why does she look so damn chipper!? I hate you. I hate this. I hate everyone and I just want to go home and take a NAP.

I stormed off, miserable and exhausted. Once home, I kept my promise and took a 30 minute siesta. Mind you, I was drenched in sweat so now my awesome egyptian cotton bedding smells like angry gym girl. At 8am I woke up and was less angry, but still feeling yucky. I did some more research on the mechanics of juicing and I deduced that I was not drinking ENOUGH of that green sledge. I am basically an anorexic juicer. I kind of feel like that is a double negative, but I'm not a doctor.

Trial and error, I seem to be doing a lot of that. I stopped by Daily Juice and ordered a 24oz Depth Charge - it is 100% green nutrients, and it was delicious. I am also upping my water consumption and introducing a fish oil vitamin into my routine. For now, I am less crazy and feeling much more optimistic about this juicing thing. Time will tell.

Stay thirsty my friends.