I have recently come to a very eye opening conclusion; I have discovered that not only do men and women reside on completely different planets and speak entirely different languages, but they are not even of the same species. While scientists will argue that xx and xy are of the same genus - homo sapien - they are in fact, mistaken. These scientists are so absolutely wrong and why no one has challenged this notion is just as perplexing. I have spent my entire life - an astounding 23 years - studying the male mammal. (I grew up with several brothers, I felt that I was somewhat of an expert on the subject - but really, my "understanding" has recently equated to just a bunch of bullshit.) And up until just a few days ago, I was confident in my realization that most men are just little boys trapped in hairy bodies (or balding bodies, it depends on the specimen). But after even more careful, and pondering deliberation, I have abandoned any and all previous notions on the subject. I now believe this: men, even in their most simple form, are utterly and entirely not worth the agony that we credit them to.
Now, I am not trying to come off as sexist, feminist, or a bra-burning woman of war. I just think that women spend way too much time obsessing over the opposite sex. And we spend an even larger amount of time trying to understand and change them. As women, we are programmed to take care of others. We encourage and push those that are dear to us - there is no problem that a little love or a motivational lecture can't solve. We hold the people that we love to a higher standard, and become disappointed when that individual doesn't conform to our expectations. So we try, and try again. Men are the kryptonite; despite any of their faults, or inability to transform into our expectations, we will continue to try, and try again. After repeated failure, it is common for the exasperated woman to become fused with rebellion. "Whatthefuck is wrong with this man. I do and I do and I do for him and he doesn't reciprocate" or "Why should I continue to do and give if he is incapable of being a decent human being and returning the gesture" These are common, one sided battles that wage in our heads. And most women, generally speaking, do not verbalize this concern. So the angst continues to build until ultimately the woman explodes, closely resembling the girl from the exorcist (as rage does funny things to a person) and the man is just sitting there, dumbfounded. Confused. And scratching his head (one of the two) and no real conclusion is ever reached. There is a pattern - it is consistent. So why do we allow the displeasure and resent to cycle. Why can't we ever really "fix" the issue?!
All of the miscommunication, all of the banter and differences - it's all familiar. Men just don't understand that a woman is ruled by emotion. And all of those emotions are precious. Love. Passion. Rage. Empathy. They aren't given away for free - each bears an unspoken price tag. Appreciation, respect, understanding, affection - these are the payments accepted. Our feelings cause vulnerability, so we protect them. This shield of armor is composed of the "whys" and the "how come he can't just comply" and every other daunting question that women throw towards their counter species. After a certain point, exhaustion settles and we consider defeat. We hurl questions, and receive no answers. So we bait some more. But the fish just aren't biting. They're too busy hanging out with their other fishie friends and doing stupid fishie things. So then we ask, "Why should I sugarcoat the fucking bait if the fish isn't even biting?!" Which translates to, why should I give this man the benefits of something he isn't ready to commit to. And then we recoil. A woman can be madly in love, deeply passionately in love, and still manage to alienate herself from that love. We are not an oasis, at some point we need to be replenished. The affection has to be returned because, as I said earlier, we are ruled by emotions - including those of men. Ladies, we are our own worst enemy.
Someone very dear to me said, "the more you show him you care, the more he'll be apt to show you [he cares]. Its not about who gives what." This is the statement that started my rant. It is the other side of the coin, the third party's opinion of a situation. She is so unbelievably right. It's the price tag on our actions that bites us in the ass. If you are in love, really truly in love, then the things that you do - the sweetness that composes you, the things he admires about you - should come naturally. We can't expect a man to return the emotional overflow because they aren't programmed in the same manner. They aren't even of the same species!! We KNOW this, we bitch and complain about this difference at least once a day. But suddenly, when things don't go our way, we get pissed and forget. We get mad and don't communicate. Man may have many talents, but ESP is definitely not one of them.
I don't really know what the point of my rambling is. I get on these tangents, as I am a very passionate gal, and then I get so involved with the expression that I forget the moral of the story. I guess my lesson would be this: when looking at a trout, it is obvious that the fish is nothing other than a trout. It isn't a carp, or a bass, or a catfish, or an orca whale. It's a trout. We can fillet it, saute it, bread and bake it but underneath all of the fluff, it's still a trout in gourmet clothing. Men: we can dress them, educate them, and show them the difference between Prada and Gucci, but underneath the bullshit, he is still just a man.
Now, I am not trying to come off as sexist, feminist, or a bra-burning woman of war. I just think that women spend way too much time obsessing over the opposite sex. And we spend an even larger amount of time trying to understand and change them. As women, we are programmed to take care of others. We encourage and push those that are dear to us - there is no problem that a little love or a motivational lecture can't solve. We hold the people that we love to a higher standard, and become disappointed when that individual doesn't conform to our expectations. So we try, and try again. Men are the kryptonite; despite any of their faults, or inability to transform into our expectations, we will continue to try, and try again. After repeated failure, it is common for the exasperated woman to become fused with rebellion. "Whatthefuck is wrong with this man. I do and I do and I do for him and he doesn't reciprocate" or "Why should I continue to do and give if he is incapable of being a decent human being and returning the gesture" These are common, one sided battles that wage in our heads. And most women, generally speaking, do not verbalize this concern. So the angst continues to build until ultimately the woman explodes, closely resembling the girl from the exorcist (as rage does funny things to a person) and the man is just sitting there, dumbfounded. Confused. And scratching his head (one of the two) and no real conclusion is ever reached. There is a pattern - it is consistent. So why do we allow the displeasure and resent to cycle. Why can't we ever really "fix" the issue?!
All of the miscommunication, all of the banter and differences - it's all familiar. Men just don't understand that a woman is ruled by emotion. And all of those emotions are precious. Love. Passion. Rage. Empathy. They aren't given away for free - each bears an unspoken price tag. Appreciation, respect, understanding, affection - these are the payments accepted. Our feelings cause vulnerability, so we protect them. This shield of armor is composed of the "whys" and the "how come he can't just comply" and every other daunting question that women throw towards their counter species. After a certain point, exhaustion settles and we consider defeat. We hurl questions, and receive no answers. So we bait some more. But the fish just aren't biting. They're too busy hanging out with their other fishie friends and doing stupid fishie things. So then we ask, "Why should I sugarcoat the fucking bait if the fish isn't even biting?!" Which translates to, why should I give this man the benefits of something he isn't ready to commit to. And then we recoil. A woman can be madly in love, deeply passionately in love, and still manage to alienate herself from that love. We are not an oasis, at some point we need to be replenished. The affection has to be returned because, as I said earlier, we are ruled by emotions - including those of men. Ladies, we are our own worst enemy.
Someone very dear to me said, "the more you show him you care, the more he'll be apt to show you [he cares]. Its not about who gives what." This is the statement that started my rant. It is the other side of the coin, the third party's opinion of a situation. She is so unbelievably right. It's the price tag on our actions that bites us in the ass. If you are in love, really truly in love, then the things that you do - the sweetness that composes you, the things he admires about you - should come naturally. We can't expect a man to return the emotional overflow because they aren't programmed in the same manner. They aren't even of the same species!! We KNOW this, we bitch and complain about this difference at least once a day. But suddenly, when things don't go our way, we get pissed and forget. We get mad and don't communicate. Man may have many talents, but ESP is definitely not one of them.
I don't really know what the point of my rambling is. I get on these tangents, as I am a very passionate gal, and then I get so involved with the expression that I forget the moral of the story. I guess my lesson would be this: when looking at a trout, it is obvious that the fish is nothing other than a trout. It isn't a carp, or a bass, or a catfish, or an orca whale. It's a trout. We can fillet it, saute it, bread and bake it but underneath all of the fluff, it's still a trout in gourmet clothing. Men: we can dress them, educate them, and show them the difference between Prada and Gucci, but underneath the bullshit, he is still just a man.
